Break ups are tough. This may sound dramatic, but it kind of feels like the rug has been pulled from under you.
Break ups are tough because you’ve spent however many months or years with this person, building a connection and making plans only to conclude that you both must part ways.
We all go through different overwhelming emotions and feelings when healing from a breakup, but what about for those who enter depression?
WebMD says that “most people do not develop depression after a breakup. Although it most likely happens when:
1. You have a history of depression
2. You misuse drugs and alcohol
3. You lack social support
4. You have multiple stressors at once”
I know for me, number one hit me like a tone of bricks. After my first breakup around May of this year, I felt myself going into a depressive episode. Depressive episodes look different for everyone; I knew I was entering into one when I could barely stay at work for more than 2-3 hours. I was having crying spells and was extremely fatigue. For those who already struggle with any sort of mental illness, trying to heal from a breakup on top of that, can be twice as hard.
This topic is not really talked about, so when I found an article written about dealing with depression after a breakup from WebMD, I knew I wanted to dive into the practical things we can do to heal from a breakup in a healthy way.

So How do You Start To Heal?
WebMD talks about healthy ways to assist in feeling better after a breakup, for example, staying off social media, avoiding your ex etc. I used these tips and much more in a 6-month timeline. Not that 6 months is going to take away all the feelings and pain, but at least within those 6 months you are making it a point to fully focus on yourself.
Give Yourself 6 months to Focus On
1. Avoiding Communication with your Ex
- Mute, Block, Delete His Number. Do whatever you have to do. This may sound obvious, but it is way more difficult when it comes down to it. It is a risky line to cross when you are healing from a breakup and trying to be friends with your ex at the same time. Setting those boundaries is important.
2. Limit Your Use of Social Media
- We all know how much is to much for us personally when it comes to social media. That is why I am not going to tell you to completely fall off the face of the earth. What I will say, is limit your use. It is easy to fall into the habit of going on Instagram to check on your ex. Maybe even going on social media to post an image in order to make your ex jealous ( I know I am guilty of this..). This becomes a cycle that just hinders your healing and puts you in a rollercoaster of emotions.
3. Setting Thought Boundaries
- WebMD shared this tip and I thought it was spot on. It is easy to think about the “what ifs” and “why did this happen?”. If you are anything like me and tend to overthink, you may stay on these thoughts for hours leading you into a never-ending spiral of confusion, anger, and sadness. It is okay to reflect on your relationship but doing so in a healthy way is key. WebMD suggest setting a certain amount of time – 30 mins-- in the day to allow yourself to reflect and process your breakup. After that time is up you jump into another activity to keep you occupied. This is a great idea because it helps you gain control over your obsessive thoughts.
- This is where journaling became so helpful for me. When I found myself starting to overthink about certain aspects of my relationship, I pulled out my journal and gave myself about 20-30 mins to write my thoughts down. After that time was up, I closed my journal and moved on to the next thing.
4. Picking up a New hobby
- Find an activity that you enjoy doing on your free time and indulge in that activity. After my ex and I broke up I immediately created this website. I love writing and journaling so why not use my free time and indulge in a hobby and passion project.
5. Talking To Someone
- When we start to enter a depressive episode, it is easy to keep thoughts and feelings to ourselves because we think we may be a burden. That is the biggest lie your mind tells you. This is the time to draw near to your support system, whether that is your best friend, parent, therapist, mentor etc.
- A month into my break, I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and confused. I was so close to texting my ex and begging for us to get back together. To gain some clarity, I called one of my good friends. We sat on the phone together and it was there that she gave me the advice about taking six months to myself before making any irrational decision that I may regret. Six months has past, and yes, the thought of my ex enters my mind occasionally, but it is not as overwhelming, and I no longer have the intense urge to text or call him.
6. Most importantly. Get help right away if you ever get to a point where you feel like hurting yourself. Thoughts of suicide are a serious symptom of depression.
You can call 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or National Suicide Prevention Lifeline any time of day at 800-273-8255.
References: WebMD https://www.webmd.com/depression/depression-after-breakup
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